Manuscripts, Musings, and… Wedding Dresses?

WELCOME to my first blog post.

I know, I’m about ten years late to the party, but here we are.

And that brings me to my first musing - Timing.

I’ve thought about having an author website, blog, and newsletter for as long as I’ve dreamt about one day receiving a book deal. But I always figured that the latter needed to come first. How could I call myself an author if I didn’t have a legitimate, tangible product to show for it? In my case, in the form of an actual book or at the very least, a completed manuscript. How could I call myself a writer if I didn’t have some legitimate portfolio of my actual writing?

I mean, the word legitimate in relation to any creative output is problematic in itself because who, then, determines its legitimacy?

Anyways, long story short, for years I and (I’m slowly realising) so many others struggle with adopting creative identities; to fully embrace a title we’ve laid our assumptions to. Do you only qualify as an author if you’ve published a book or an article? Do you only qualify as an artist if you’ve sold a piece of work? Do you only qualify as a singer if you’ve sold an album? (I know, still 10 years behind, but you get what I mean).

Maybe it’s because I’m in my thirties now and care a little less about what other people think but when I recently asked myself what I really wanted in life, which, long term, is to have a successful writing career, (among many other things but this is a writing blog so we’ll stick to this), I then had to ask myself why I wasn’t there yet.

Why didn’t I have the website? The blog? The newsletter? Why didn’t I have the book?

Well, the book is another beast entirely. I mean, technically, I’ve already written two manuscripts, but neither of them shall ever see the light of day!

Though here’s the thing: They both taught me So. Much.

Along with a number of writing courses I’ve done over the last few years, I’ve learned about my writing process, about writing and the publishing industry in general, but more importantly, I’ve learned what not to do. Honestly, when I think back to some of the earlier work I shared with family and friends for feedback, I cringe. But bless them all, not once did they knock my confidence.

That being said, I’m nowhere near where I’d like to be now either but practice makes progress and all that.

Because Book 1 was awful. Plain and simple.

Book 2 was much more fun to write and made me fall in love with writing again, but it still wasn’t right.

But Book 3 – the one I’m currently writing, feels special. In the same way authors I’ve followed for years have spoken about this magical, mythical feeling of just knowing when an idea is out of the ordinary. (Fun fact - Ordinary by Alex Warren is the song I’ve listened to on repeat whilst drafting this manuscript - no spoilers…).

I can only compare the feeling to finding the right wedding dress. Because I always thought that was a myth too, no matter how many reruns of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ I watched after I got engaged. Until of course, I found the dress. And I knew. I knew straight away it was the dress I’d get married in. Which is exactly how I feel about this novel, although now, of course, I need to finish it!

But what about all that other stuff I mentioned earlier? The website, the blog, and the newsletter. Well, I might never be traditionally published (by a publishing house who offers to buy a book I’ve written with the intention to sell it), and that’s something I’ve had to make my peace with. In theory, I could write the best book in the world, yet what I’ve learned about the publishing industry is that those long-hoped-for book deals are often the result of a mysterious combination of talent, timing, and luck.

And that’s ok. Truly. Because I’ve realised now that I write simply because I love to write.

I also realised that all those other things, the website, the blog, the newsletter, well, they’re in my control.

And when I realised that, I then had to ask myself: What am I waiting for? Someone else’s permission? The right time?

No. I just had to get out of my own way.

So yeah, Musing #1: Life is short. Get after it.

Start where you are. Start with what you’ve got. Just start.